Why Committed Part 2 - Power of Commitment

I wrote this once before and then lost the text. Maybe it needs reworking.

One of the most important reasons for being a "committed" single is that it shifts your direction and goal in life.

Our commitments and decisions drive our futures. When you commit to marriage, your future changes. You begin to plan your life differently. You make plans (or you should) that take into account your spouse. If you are living life committed to finding a mate (whether you ever do or not), that affects how you pursue life as well.

What is ineffective in life planning is the lack of planning and the lack of commitment. Someone said "No one plans to fail, they just fail to plan." This is true in a lot of areas of life.

The idea that you just go ahead and just let a relationship either happen or not without caring one way or another is not only irresponsible, it's also impossible. If you question people who claim this is how they deal with it, you find out that they usually are hoping to find that great person, they just are unsure they ever will.

You see, if I had committed to finding a relationship, I would pursue that. It wouldn't be my only pursuit, but I would make time for it, and I wouldn't involve myself in other activities without considering that possibility. I might never find that relationship, but I would pursue it. One does not need to acquire the Grail for the quest to be worthwhile.

But for me, that quest wasn't important. I look back and see that in the days I was pursuing a relationship, I did it half heartedly. I didn't pour myself into the quest like I do say web ministry or teaching. That should have given me a hint. It was not a high priority.

The power of making a specific commitment is that it helps to clarify your path. When I took my job at the college, I could begin to design a portion of my life around that commitment. That design was different than if I had become a PR person or a radio personality (both jobs I've held).

Committing to singleness gave some of the same clarity of purpose. I now know that I can leave myself open to certain ministry opportunities and certain career paths that would have been problematic if I was trying to juggle ministry, a career and a family.

I'm 7 years from retirement. The nature of my retirement planning is different. I am only planning for one. It's a different planning than if I planned to spend the next third of my life with someone else.

Commitment then gives direction and moves you forward in life. It's like you come to a crossroad. You can choose one path or the other and move on. Or you can set up a camp at the crossroad and wait for something to come along that drags you up that path. You can waste a lot of time at crossroads. I know. I did. Now, I'm moving on.