The Concert

Saturday I did something I've wanted to do for several years. I went to the San Francisco Symphony. For about five years I've had a standing appointment in The City (as we call San Francisco out here in the Central Valley) and I park just a block from Davies Symphony Hall. Several times I've promised myself that the next time I came to the city I was going to buy a ticket and go. I've even bought tickets on line a couple of times and something happened and I wasn't able to go. This time I simply dressed for the occassion went over and after my appointment bought a ticket at the box office.

There is one advantage of going to the Symphony alone. It is very easy to get a good seat. So many people buy tickets in pairs that in rows with odd numbers of seats, you have a good chance of finding a single.

At the box office, the woman selling me the ticket and I chatted a bit and she said, "You know it's good to just be spontaneous. Carpe Diem" Yes, I did "seize the day."

Mentioning this to someone, they complimented me on my "courage" to go to the symphony alone. Frankly, that's a lot less dangerous than driving to San Francisco alone, but somehow that is not seen as "dangerous" as going to a concert without a male escort.

Well, if I waited around until I had someone to go to a play or concert with I would never go. But in a way I understand. This is really the first event that I've gone to in about four years. The last one was a play at our local playhouse. I enjoyed the play, but about half way through I started looking around and realized that I was the only one there alone. I'm afraid I wasn't in a very good place at that time. My dad was struggling with altzeimers. I was helping take care of him along with my mom all the time realizing that when that happened to me I would be alone. And somehow from that struggle I also took away the idea that there was something wrong with me that I was alone. It sort of ruined the performance for me.

But I don't know why I let it. I have gone places alone for decades with no ill effects and enjoyed myself. I noticed at the concert Saturday there were several "loners" there. One interesting thing I noticed was that the singles tended to sit in the lower price seats, the balcony (or tier seating), and the seats directly behind the orchestra.

I imagine in part this is because many singles are young and don't have much money. And being single there is only one income. But I think it also has to do with the fact that it really is about the music for the singles. They don't need to impress their date by having orchestra seats or front row seating. Those seats are impressive, but frankly, do not provide the best viewing or listening perspectives.

Maybe that is both the plus and the minus about going to concerts (or movies or plays) alone. It really is about the event and not the relationship. You aren't there simply for something to do with this other person, but you are there to really get into the event on your own terms. Of course, the downside is that sharing something with a like minded person transforms the event into a component of the relationship. But in so doing one loses the purity of the experience of the concert. It's not like one is better than the other, but different and special each in it's own way.

In a way, I feel sorry for people who only go to places with others. It seems when I'm out with someone I'm only partially into the performance. I'm split between my enjoyment of the event and my estimation of how the one I'm with is reacting. But alone I am absorbed into the event itself.

Anyway, it was a wonderful time. I really need to do things like that more often. I tend to not "have fun" often enough. That is something I really need to work on. But that's another subject entirely.