Jusr One?

found this in my files and thought I would share it with you. I had written it for our women's ministry Valentines Day newsletter. There were all these articles about marriage and family and tributes from the women to their husbands. I also knew there were many single women in our church who felt their singleness painfully and that pain intensified during February. Indeed, many single women (especially those without children) feel marginalized by many women's ministries groups because of the heavy focus of such groups on marriage and family. This came out of that experience. Even though it's not February, I guess maybe it was something I needed to remember at this point in my life.

Just One? I have a pet peeve. When I enter a restaurant alone and the hostess looks around and says, "Just One?" I have to be careful to not think un-Christian thoughts. In fact, I'm tempted to say, "No, actually it's me and my six invisible friends." Aside from the sheer stupidity (obviously I'm just one person), there is also an implied criticism as if I am violating some cultural taboo by dining alone.

Okay, maybe I'm a bit overly sensitive, but there does seem to be a societal sanction against being single. This is especially true for women. It is assumed that any woman of quality is in a relationship and if not, then there must be something wrong with her. And often, we buy into this attitude ourselves. We begin to believe that unless we are married, we are somehow incomplete and flawed.

Sad to say even some churches reinforce this feeling. I heard of one church whose single's Sunday School class had a "graduation" ceremony when someone got married. It is no wonder that many Christian singles feel ashamed of their singleness.
This feeling for many is intensified around Valentine's Day. How sad that a day devoted to celebrating love causes many to only feel the pangs of loneliness. It seems like the world is going by in pairs and that you are the only one who is not in a relationship. You feel like you have been excluded from the whole of humanity. And worse, you begin to believe that you are unloved and unlovable.

But, we are loved! I believe that God has a special love for the single. After all, Jesus was single. Considering the culture of his day, that was bound to have been considered odd at the very least. Paul was single and somehow didn't see himself as incomplete.

Certainly, in our humanity we often feel lonely and desire a loving relationship. And God understands that. God may well have that someone special waiting for the lonely single. He may need to do a work in your life or in theirs before your relationship can flourish. Likewise, he may not have someone. He may be calling you to a single life. Either way, until that time, He is the Lover of your Soul, and if you are being called to the single life, then your life can still be extraordinary. His blessings will be more than enough and will never be "second best"! And when He calls you to the Marriage Supper of the Lamb, the Angel in charge will not say as you enter the banquet hall, "Just one?"