A Small Gripe

A couple of days ago I was in a pizza parlour waiting for my pizza and saw on the TV some celebrity then and now show. The segment I saw had to do with some rising movie starlet. I forget which one, there are so many out there being co-produced by the Hollywood star machine and the Beverly Hills plastic surgery machine.

They showed picture of this woman when she was in high school, talking about her life then. "She was on the yearbook committee and played saxophone in the band. she wore glasses then. But look at her today. She went from Geek to Chic." And they showed pictures of her then in the band and one of her in some ballgown costing more than the budget of some third world countries.

Looking at the photos, I thought the high school girl looked just fine. But mostly I was just a little bit angry that somehow because this girl who made music and engaged in graphic design (both perfectly good and noble pursuits) is considered to be a better person today than she was then because she can pretend to be other people on the big screen and she has contact lenses, a wardrobe mistress, and apparently no longer makes music.

What worried and angered me is the message this sends to young women (and young men in other stories) about what it means to be a valuable person. As one who has been called names like "geek" and "freak" and "nerd" I know that those are not just words, they are emotional bullets fired directly into the heart of your self esteem. Hearing them once or twice you can shake them off, but hearing them over and over and over again eventually kills your confidence and your validation of worth.

When the media compounds that by depicting the studious youth as a dud and the shiftless athlete as a stud. When it depicts the band member, debater or student journalist as ugly and undesireable and the scatterbrained cheerleader or party girl as beautiful, we send a message that looks are all that matter.

Many women using the personal ads to find relationships complain that they may be having a great online chat with a guy or exchange of emails until they send a photo. At which point the guy disappears. Are these "ugly" women? Probably not, but they are not the glamour girls of screen and stage and more invidious is that we have been taught that not being physically attractive makes one inferior to the person who is the glamour queen or king. Nobody says that outright, and in some ways it would be better if they did, you could counter it and the message would be seen to be absurd on it's face. Einstein, Schwitzer, Susan B. Anthony, Harriet Tubman, and many others we know to be great people today were hardly heart throbs. Yet, they would be "geeks" and "freaks" and "nerds."

So, today, it's time the "geeks" and "freaks" and "nerds" take back our dignity. Let's turn off the extreme makeover and plastic surgery shows. Let's stop idolizing the beautiful face and figure and begin valuing the intelligent mind and the compassionate heart. Most importantly, let us no longer view ourselves as geeks, freaks and nerds. We may not grace the cover of magazines, we may not have hundreds of admirers, we may even sit at home alone on a Saturday night (or better yet go out alone), but that does not mean we are worthless. Regardless of what Star Jones (hardly a glamour queen herself) standing on a red carpet outside a theatre may say.

So take up your saxophone and remember your debate and yearbook days with pride. Put on your glasses. because you and I guess I are very beautiful regardless of what those other voices tell us.