Single but not Isolated

I am a happy single person. I like my solitude and my alone times. Nothing wrong with that. However, I have a tendency, which other happy singles sometimes share. I have a tendency to isolate myself from others. I'm more likely to turn down an invitation to dinner than accept, to avoid parties, to watch TV rather than go to a concert. In other words cut myself off, in my personal life, from human contact.

Now, some of us, for whatever reason, are consitutionally more introverted than others. We work well alone. We are comfortable with our own company. We like solitary activities like reading or watching TV.

However, there is much to be gained from interacting with others. Other people stimulate your thinking and problem solving in ways you can't do on your own. They provide you with outside perspective. They help you cope with the difficult times in our lives. They also help us celebrate our joys.

Just because I have chosen not to marry or date does not mean that I should cut myself off from others totally. And I can do this easily enough. I teach college. I have taught face-to-face classes for almost 20 years. Recently I've been teaching online. I'm good at it and I enjoy it greatly. I'll be doing half my load online by fall. But I am setting a personal limit at 50 percent. It would be too easy for me to just sit at home at a computer and do all my human interaction on line.

A message board, some emails and IM'ing on occassion can build a type of relationship, but it is not the same as a voice on the phone, a hand held or a hug received. We are, after all, physical creatures. God made us that way and we need that physical connection with others.

Sometimes people say, "Why do I need to go to a brick and mortar church. I can read my Bible on my own, pray to God and even fellowship with others online. That's easier." And trust me that is tempting to me. Not have to deal with someone's overwhelming cologne, being able to choose what music to listen to rather than have to put up with the selections of the worship leader, and if the sermon I'm reading or listening to online offends me, well I can just surf away. It's easy, it's safe, it's sanitized, and its most of all impersonal.

Disembodied worship and fellowship is easier. But I'm not sure it's better. I'm not sure relationships are meant to be easy. Church relationships no less than others.

It is certainly easier and safer for me to sit at home, type on my computer, teach invisible students, build invisible friendships, even attend an invisble church. But that doesn't make me a committed single. It just makes me a hermit. And my house becomes my cave, a cave with bars on the door separating me from the ebb and flo of life around me, watching it go on, but not being part of it.

I've been there before. I sawed through the bars and escaped and I will not return.