Single, but an Adult

I was walking across campus at school friday when I observed an interesting interchange. A professor saw one of his students heading off campus. He waved at the guy, who was in his late 20's, and said, "Have a great weekend. I bet a single guy like you will be heading for the coast." The young man looked a bit annoyed and said back, "Actually, I'm doing some repairs around the house," then added what I considered a wonderful line, "I may be single, but I'm still an adult."

One of the myths about being single is that you are somehow a perpetual minor without any responsibilities. I think this comes from people who got married right out of college or high school. For them, marriage and family occurs just about the same time that they get their first responsible job and move out of the dorm or parents house. But for those of us who have been on our own for many years, we have most the same responsibilities of a married person.

I rent a three bedroom house. It needs to be cleaned. The lawn needs mowing. The garbage needs to be taken out. All just as if I were married. The only difference is that I don't have a "honey-do" list because if it gets done I have to do it or pay someone. Now, I make a good income and do have a gardener now. But in the past I didn't. Cooking for one or cooking for two takes just as much time.

But the assumption is that we don't have responsibilities. This often leads some to consider us as "public property." I've had my bosses ask me to take on extra duties, not because I am qualified or valued, but because, "you don't have a family and all the family people can't ...." In other words I'm an after thought.

Even the church often pushes jobs onto singles that the marrieds are "too busy" to do, yet in many church settings, we are barred from leadership positions because of our unmarried status.

So, yes, I am single, but I'm also an adult. I do have responsibilities. And I take care of those responsibilities.